FYI, Maya was a cesarean baby. I had no problem with it, in general. My mom had 3 c-sections and in my brain I guess I always knew I'd have a kid or two or ten through that method. When the nurse said "vaginal bypass" (ha ha! I find that funny!) I was like whatever, get this kid out of me. After nearly 24 hours of labor (make that a few days off and on- freaking back labor would start, as soon as I'd time contractions, they'd stop), 4 painful rounds of IV antibiotics (GBS+ lucky me- that's group B strep for those of you not familiar with all the lingo these days :) ), I was ready to meet my baby and not be pregnant anymore (I HATED being pregnant). So, when I say I was ok with it "in general," I mean my problems were A) waiting to see her while I heard her sweet little cry that to me wasn't mad, it was "I don't know what's going on, so I'm whining about it", 2) was she blue, grey, pink, red, bloody, white and gooey? I have no idea what she looked like fresh out of the womb. It woulda been interesting to see her umbilical cord length, too, and possibly my placenta, but that's gross so I'm ok without that, and D) they took her a way (her dad went with her) while I got stitched up. Then I had to stay flat which is an awkward way to first hold your baby, who I got my first glimpse of while still on the operating table- she was already in a burrito with a little hat and had a cute dimple then that was that until we were in the recovery room. If you don't get my A, 2, D thing, watch Home Alone.
Anyway... so I think it would be great to have a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. A VBAC. One of the reasons- probably the ultimate reason, for the cesarean was that Maya wasn't going to fit through my pelvis. Also the reason for my mother's cesareans. Or so she was told 30 years ago. Whether that's true, she'll never know nor care, and whether it's true for me, I didn't care at the moment and unless I really try to fit this kid, won't ever know. A c-section is handy. I can schedule it for a couple days after my mom and sister arrive. I know what to expect with recovery. And if the kid isn't gonna fit, why bother? But I guess there's no way to really tell. I'll ask again at my next appointment (which is with a different doctor).
If we had the money, I'd find a midwife who'd get my baby out vaginally whether it wanted to fit or not. But we don't have the money. And then again, sometimes, ok most of the time, midwives are zealots. Drives me nuts. What if I don't want to breastfeed? You think I'm inhumane? (I do, fyi). If it's a boy, he's for darn tootin' certain getting circumcised, but midwives these days think that's cruel and unusual and some may even say will ruin your bond with your child. Gimme a freakin' break. And they don't believe in drugs. I do. Bring on the drugs.
Yes, I'm generalizing. Not all midwives are like that. So don't attack me.
Pain- yeah, hate it. There were moments with Maya I thought hhmmm, maybe I could try to go el naturel, but I had no idea how much worse it would get. So I asked for the epidural and it was fabulous. Plus then it was already there when I needed additional junk to further numb me! Therefore, I would like another, though getting that needle in my spine was the scariest moment of my life. No kidding. Ask my mom- I probably broke her fingers as I held onto her for dear life and prayed my brains out.
So... that's what's going on in my head right now. I'll get to the breastfeeding predicament in my brain later. For now, my vbac ramblings will suffice and I will not bother to spellcheck before posting this (I may fix it later). And I'm sure there's a lot I've left out that doesn't explain fully how I feel other than I don't know if I want to attempt a vbac or not, though I obsess over it and have a feeling I would regret another c-section, since this may be my one and only shot at it, because I don't think I'd have the guts to go through with attempting a vbac after 2 cesareans. Scary. So, yeah... that's it.
I really think that the most important part of modern childbirth is that you are in charge. Make your decision, let everyone know, and have that baby the way you want to! It's your body, and your baby. You've been there before, so just trust yourself!
ReplyDeleteUm... That last comment was Adrienne, not Joseph.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that out of all your rambling, the part I found most amusing (other than the Home Alone reference) was that having a needle stuck in your spine was the scariest moment of your life. Try having 4! 1 to numb, 2 to unsuccessfully withdraw spinal fluid, and 1 to successfully withdraw spinal fluid. Though, the LP was nothing compared to the neurosurgery. THAT was scary!
ReplyDeleteI think you have to do what's right for you. Just be sure to be flexible if things have to change. I know with Noah I was ready for the drugs. I wanted the drugs. They said there wasn't time. But be very sure to tell them what you want to try first. As for bfeeding and circumsision. That is for you to decide and no one else. Also send the baby to the nursery as often as you can. That was heaven sent for me. Loves to you. And you still have plenty of time to decide what you want to do.
ReplyDeleteI love the part about the needle too! On that note, the only problem with a scheduled C section (at least my experience) is that they put the needle in your back when you are all alone in the operating room. No mom's hand to hold!
ReplyDeleteI also felt like the 2nd C-section was a lot more painful, but the recovery was SO MUCH better! Good luck deciding. I really wanted a VBAC with #2, but couldn't and now I think I'll just go with C-sections from now on (if I have more). It's nice that there are options these days. I'm sure in the end you'll just want the baby OUT and everything will be fine, whatever way you go. :)